Those Left Behind
by spero spiro
Summary: Mai struggles to understand the reason for Zuko’s unexpected betrayal and departure, leading her to seek the truth she must be missing. MaiZuko.
1. Decisions Unmade

**Those Left Behind**

**Description: Mai struggles to understand the**** reason**** for ****Zuko's**** unexpected betrayal and departure, leading her to seek the ****truth she must be missing****. Mai/Zuko.**

**Disclaimer: I have no claim to Avatar: The Last ****Airbender****. Please don't sue for infringement, etc. This disclaimer applies for the remainder of the story.**

**Chapter One: ****Decisions Unmade**

When she found the letter on her bed, she sat down hard, slumped on the floor, with a piece of paper crumpled in her fist. It wasn't ladylike, and it wasn't dignified, but she realized that she, for once, didn't care at all. She didn't feel much often, but whenever she was around Zuko, he had an infuriating way of inspiring a thousand different emotions inside her, and it would seem that his departure had the same effect. She didn't know what to call them most of the time, and this one was certainly a new one. "You idiot…" She murmured, pulling herself up and flopping limply on the bed. She blinked furiously, fighting back the swell of emotion before shutting her eyes and feeling the hot stream of liquid slide from the side of her eyes. There was a painful lump in her throat she couldn't swallow.

"He's going to get himself killed…" She muttered, rolling onto her side and curling up, clutching the letter close. They had been building up these feelings for one another for _so long_, and just when it seemed like they could finally be in love, and… happy, even… He had to go and throw it all away. For what? Mai didn't think she really understood Zuko, but he had chosen to say goodbye to her. He had chosen to tell her his plan before anyone else. But he had chosen this fool's path over stability with her, but for what end? Did he really think that siding with the Avatar was the right path? Did he really think that burning his bridges with his family and his old life was worth whatever it was he planned on doing with the Avatar? Was ending this war really worth all that?

A defiant voice inside her told her it was.

There was a sharp rapping on her door. Instinctively, Mai knew it was Azula, and she panicked for a moment. What was she supposed to do? Was Zuko stupid? _Why_ would he do this? And what was she supposed to do about Azula, knocking at her door? She shoved the scroll under her pillow and tried to orient herself. "I'm coming." She called dryly. She strode to the door and opened it, keeping her expression as blank as possible.

"Mai… I'm glad to see you're safe after the disturbance today." Azula brushed past her, looking shrewdly around the room.

_She knows._ Mai realized with a jolt, but shut the door complacently. "I'm glad that the little _peasant_ rebellion was easily crushed."

Azula lowered herself with dignity into one of Mai's chairs. "Yes… Yes, it was. I thought you should hear it from me, rather than the town crier, though, that my dear brother has quite unfortunately shown his true colors to be those of a traitor."

Mai didn't know why, but Azula's simpering words made her want to forget that she had knives and simply punch her in the nose. "I-is that so?" She lowered herself on the bed, wondering exactly how she should react. If she was too distant, Azula might assume she had already known, and if she reacted more than she might normally in such a situation with no fore-warning, Azula would know she had already known. She inwardly cursed Zuko again, because while he was off gallivanting with the Avatar, she had to deal with his sister.

"Yes, it's a terrible loss. Father is so disappointed. I can't imagine what you must be feeling right now." Azula studied her fingernails, and looked put out at the fact that she had a hang nail. "You should have seen what one of those Water Tribe peasants tried to do to me."

Mai closed her eyes briefly and tried to breathe. Azula was changing the subject on purpose; stalking Mai like a cat does its prey. She tried to think quick enough to get the princess out of her room and think of what _she_ was going to do next. She had put up with Azula's manipulations while she was with Zuko for the whole summer, and now that he was gone again, he had left her with an ugly decision to make. "I don't know what to say. What did he do?" She stated monotonously.

"Oh, he threatened Father, and said he was going to free Uncle and join the Avatar. Of course, dear Uncle broke out of prison all by himself today, so Father is furious about _that_ as well." She looked into Mai's eyes, searching for any hint of anything. "You didn't hear anything about this, did you? I wouldn't want to bore you with details you've already heard."

Mai hardened. "Of course not, Azula. I can't believe Zuko would be so foolish, but if that's the decision he's made, then I'm not going to waste another moment of my time worrying about it. Now, I'm exhausted. I want to take a bath, and I want a fruit tart. I don't want to talk about your stupid brother anymore. I don't want to talk about the war, and I don't want to talk about _anything_."

Azula stood promptly. "Of course, Mai." She strode to the bed and stroked the elder girl's hair. "If you hear anything, of course, I'm counting on you to let me know. Father doesn't tolerate _traitors_, and we're counting on everyone to display their loyalty to the Fire Nation in these… _troubling_ times." She strode out the door, and Mai released the breath she didn't realize she'd been holding.

"Damn you, Zuko…" She whispered, flopping backward on the bed. Of course he had, in a fit of righteous fury, packed up, challenged his father, and left to join the Avatar. She should have seen it coming from the conversation he had had with her only the day before.

_"I was the perfect prince. I was the son my father wanted. __But…__ I wasn't me."_

With a statement like that, she should have known Zuko was going to do something stupid. He knew that she would have stopped him if he had told her beforehand. He knew he was leaving her with an awful choice. Treason or loyalty to the Fire Nation. Him, or her family. _Damn it._ It was right or wrong, but she was just so confused as to what was right and what was wrong.

Mai wasn't stupid, and she wasn't blind. She was obedient, and she did what others told her to, but that didn't mean she didn't have her own thoughts, opinions or emotions. She had seen the looks of defiant anger in the faces of the people of Omashu, and she had seen what people like Azula were capable of doing to their own people, let alone the people the Fire Nation was conquering. But her mother had told her to keep her mouth shut, so her father could gain power, and Mai obliged.

Now, Zuko was presenting her with another way. An end to the war she despised at heart, an explanation for the state of the world, and a life with him, where they wouldn't be bothered by Azula's meddling and attempts at control over their relationship. Mai loved Zuko more than she was loyal to Azula, but what did that mean in the end? Did that mean she was willing to become a turncoat and leave like Zuko had? Maybe Zuko was used to life as an outcast, but that didn't mean she was. She was used to life as an aristocrat, not living on a military ship, chasing after an enigmatic figure of untold power, or hiding in the forests of the Earth Kingdom from a crazy princess. And if she was right, which she was fairly sure she was, Zuko was not going to be living on a ship in his exile this time. He would be struggling for supplies, living life on the run, battling his own people at every turn, hiding out as the Avatar had to.

She, Mai, was not sure she could handle that kind of life any more than anyone else. She pulled out the letter again, skimmed it, and then groaned. _Why_ was joining the Avatar the right thing? Zuko didn't explain, and there wasn't anyone left in the Fire Nation who could tell her. There had been no Avatar since Avatar Roku, and since the one succeeding him had not come of age yet when the Air Nomads were massacred (defeated, she reminded herself. Massacre sounded so vulgar.), it was widely assumed he would have died with them and been reborn in the Water Tribe (leading to the subsequent attack on the South Pole and capture of every water bender). Few assumed he had survived the attack, unless they were in confidence of Fire Lord Sozin, who believed his old friend's reincarnation was still living.

So, why was the Avatar so amazing? His name suggested his importance, even though there was not much room for spirituality and learning of the Avatar in the Fire Nation. It meant that he was the incarnation of… something. Something great and powerful. She snorted involuntarily, having met the air bender, and composing herself when she remembered the power he wielded that she herself had witnessed. She was missing something. Something Zuko had not missed over the years, and something he was willing to throw everything away to support.

She sat up and folded the paper, tucking it neatly inside her robe and pacing her room. No, perhaps she would not leave the Fire Nation and openly declare herself treasonous against her home country, but she would no more complacently follow Azula. If Zuko was willing to throw away his life, what he had worked so hard to regain, there had to be something very important, a piece to the puzzle, she was missing. Was that enough to go to the extremes he had? Mai didn't know yet, but it was enough to do some research and make a decision for herself. She seized her cloak from the chair and hid flint and a candle in her sleeves, sliding out the door of her apartment.

It had been at least an hour since Azula's visit, and darkness had fallen around the royal grounds. She inhaled slowly and hurried, unseen, through the night, rushing toward the stronghold where she knew Azula would keep her new prisoners. The guards were already asleep, doubtlessly understaffed and exhausted from the excitement of the day, and she slid past them effortlessly. She followed the stairs down into the catacombs and made a face at the oozing, slimy walls. When she finally found them, she was shocked at how many there were.

"Why didn't the Avatar try to escape with more of you?" The words spilled from her mouth before she could manage a proper introduction or greeting. She was astonished that he had allowed so many to be taken prisoner, and not stayed himself.

They all stared openly at her, but only a harrowed looking Water Tribe warrior responded. "He would have stayed with us, but if we have a prayer of defeating you people, he had to leave with our youths." He looked at the stone floor of the large cell, and even in the dim light Mai could see he had already been subject to Azula's torture.

She stepped toward the cell, and before she realized it, her fingers had the bars of the cell in a death grip, peering around at the team of rag tag fighters. "Why did you all come here today?" She asked, trying to keep her voice low. "Why was this worth it to you?" Maybe their reasoning was similar to the one that had driven Zuko to leave, and she found that she was becoming increasingly desperate in finding understanding.

Another Water Tribe warrior stepped forward, looking worse than the first. "If you had endured the lives we have, you would fight too. If you had seen the monstrosities the Fire Nation has caused us, and felt the pain caused by those horrors, you would fight." His blue eyes were cold as the ice his people lived among. "My wife was murdered in a Fire Nation raid on the South Pole. My children are fighting with the Avatar. My _children_."

Mai could clearly see that his suffering was not caused by his battle wounds, nor by the torture Azula had inflicted upon him or his comrades. Somehow, the warrior had been able to tell that Mai was not there to taunt them.

She stepped away from the bars, pulling her hood back to reveal her identity and address the group. "Someone I care very much for left me today…" She trailed off, trying to decide how much to tell these people. "He said that fighting with the Avatar was his destiny, and bringing peace to my country, and the whole world, was something he truly believed in. And I…" She was surprised to discover that she was crying, but she pushed on. "I don't know what he learned that made up his mind. I don't know if I should be of the same mind, or if he's just crazy. But… but there are so many people around the world who have those same feelings about the Avatar… I want to understand whatever it was that brought all of you here, and led him to leave. I want to make up my own mind about this, and I want to do something about it, either way."

The group stared at her, and finally a murmur travelled throughout the room. The second Water Tribe warrior spoke after a long moment, offering his hand to her through the bars. "My name is Hakoda. I'm the leader of the Southern Water Tribe warriors." When she tentatively took his weathered hand, he grabbed her elbow in a ceremonial handshake, which she shakily returned.

"My name is Mai." She returned slowly, her mind racing, and she reached into her pocket, handing a small knife to him. When he took it, she pulled her hood back over her eyes. "I'll be back… Use that at the right moment. You'll know when it comes." She turned and left the group stunned and speechless, a thousand new questions presenting herself with every beat of her hammering heart.

**End Chapter One**

**Note: When I started writing this, it was supposed to simply be a one-shot about Mai struggling with ****Zuko's**** decision in the wake of the failed invasion, and trying to reach a decision of her own. I didn't think Mai would be the type to simply up and leave on someone else's whim, especially when it meant her life and the lives of her family would be deeply impacted, and so this story was formed from that internal conflict. By the time Azula left, though, I knew that this was going to turn into a multi-chaptered story, because my mind was already leaping into what could happen in the next chapter, even though I hadn't planned on one. I had decided after beginning the sentence challenges that I wanted to write a Mai/Zuko story, and I wanted it to suit the nature of their relationship, which is mysterious and more complex than most give it credit for being. Then, I decided that I wanted to address the aftermath of the failed invasion from the other side, those left in the Fire Nation to deal with Azula, which included Mai. So, here we are, and I'm facing the frustrating inner conflict of finals, versus graduate school applications, versus a desire to write that won't be satiated. That said**** I'm going to try hard to finish my school finals (which, to my agony, are all papers that won't simply write themselves) before working on another chapter of this, or any of my other in progress stories. Thanks so much for reading!**


	2. Heart's Choice

**Those Left Behind**

**Description: Mai struggles to understand the reason for Zuko's unexpected betrayal and departure, leading her to seek the truth she must be missing. Mai/Zuko. **

**Chapter Two: ****Heart's Choice**

A tentative knock on her door startled Mai and she pushed Zuko's letter into her dressing table drawer with a start. "Come in." She called, straightening her dressing gown.

A servant entered and bowed to her reverently. "Princess Azula has requested an audience with you, Lady Mai."

"Right now?" She sighed, knowing that Azula was not going to let her refuse, and the princess had little regard for whatever she was infringing on. Mai thought with a pang about Azula's constant interference with her and Zuko's time alone.

"I'm afraid so, Lady Mai." Her manservant stumbled over his words, looking unhappy about having to deliver the news.

She sighed again. "See her in, then."

The manservant looked no happier at this request, and returned a moment later with a cool, groomed Azula. Mai had the sinking feeling that she was going to be seeing a lot of Azula in the future, and knew that the princess was not going to be making it a pleasant experience of getting through the rest of the war.

"Good morning, Azula." She greeted, nonchalantly leaning back in her dressing chair.

The princess perched herself on Mai's bed as though it was she who lived there, and Mai was not wearing a dressing gown and preparing for the day. "Good morning, Mai," She sounded more cheerful than she should have, but it was probably as sincere as Azula ever was, which was to say not at all. "Have you slept well?"

"Of course." Mai lied. She had turned throughout the night, pondering Hakoda and his men, and Zuko, and the Avatar. She wished she knew more, and the one person she was certain she could rely on to tell her something about any of those things had broken out of prison the day before. So, instead, Mai tried to think of creative ways to learn more, other than sneaking into prisons at night and outright leaving the protective sphere of being on Azula's good side. "It was really a lovely night."

"Perfect." Azula smiled insincerely at her. "I will need your help, then."

"My help?" Mai feigned mild surprise. "Are we going to be searching for your brother and uncle again?"

Azula dismissed the idea with a wave of her hand. "Oh, no, of course not. That would take too much time, too much energy, especially given that we've not too much time before summer's end, when the comet comes. We need to arrange that whole affair, and Zuko will be back anyway, if he really has set out to join the Avatar." She was still carefully studying Mai, but the elder girl was sharper than Azula gave her credit for and kept herself entirely without reaction.

"Then what do you need my help with?" She raised an eyebrow. In Omashu, she had been desperate to get away and leaped at any chance to escape the maddening city and her family, but this was an entirely different situation.

"Well, I have the problem of a great number of prisoners to question. I'll need some help with that." Azula made everything sound like she was planning a picnic in the Royal Garden, and Mai was slightly disturbed by that. "And when the comet comes, the Army will be doing the conquering… but up until that time, we're going to need to defend the capitol from my brother and the Avatar. I know they'll be coming back, and I will need trustworthy people to stand with me."

Mai found herself in a position she had not quite anticipated being in so suddenly. Azula was giving her no time to decide how she was going to react to all this, and was no longer warning her, but outright asking her where her loyalties lay. She chose her words carefully. "I wouldn't say I'm happy at the prospect of spending my time questioning a group of peasant prisoners, but I suppose I haven't anything better to do. And you can count on my fighting when the time comes."

Azula appeared satisfied at this answer, as she smiled very slightly. "Well, good. I'll leave you to dress, and I'll meet you at the prison in, say, an hour?" Once Mai nodded her agreement, she rose and left without further ado.

Mai lowered her head into her hands, frustrated and annoyed with her situation. She was starting to make a curse to Zuko her mantra. She rose and dressed quickly, checking herself in the mirror again to ensure she looked alright before loading her springs with various knives and blades. When she was ready, she left her family's home and walked toward the palace and its adjoining prison.

Azula was waiting outside for her, leaning against the structure carelessly. "Hello, Mai." As they walked in, she led her down the staircase Mai had already taken the night before. Instead of leading her directly to the cell, she led her to the right and into a hallway, where several small chambers were behind heavy doors. "You should probably watch the questioning process before you begin yourself."

"I'm not completely incompetent, Azula."

"Oh, of course not," Azula's smile never quite reached her eyes, but now more than ever, Mai found herself shuddering inside at the princess's smile. "But it's important we're all on the same page, as we're planning to divide and conquer them."

Mai was led into a smaller, observation room and watched from one side of a large pane of glass. She was a little fearful that she would be seen, but the guard confided in her that the people on the other side could not hear or see her, and appeared simply as a wall. She watched as Azula sat complacently at the table, while a guard brought in one of the Water Tribe warriors. Mai studied him closely to see if he was Hakoda, and found herself relieved that it was not.

"I want you to tell me what your plans for the invasion were." Azula began coolly, legs crossed and lounging in her chair.

The man didn't move or respond in any way, but this didn't appear to faze Azula.

"Why did you think it was going to be at all possible to take on the Fire Nation, solar eclipse or no?" She leaned across the table at this, and the look in her eyes was very dangerous. Mai was suddenly very aware of what was going to happen next, in ugly detail, and frowned, hardening herself for it.

The warrior did not respond, yet again, and his silence was met with Azula's fury, which erupted violently in the room. The guards cowered in the corners as her bright flames licked indiscriminately at everyone but Azula. Mai leaned back, feeling the heat from the room radiating into the observation room. Though he was burned, the warrior still did not move. Azula stood, and motioned for the guards to leave, which they did a little too quickly. She closed the door and circled the table and her prisoner.

"Where has the Avatar gone?" She asked smoothly, sliding a long knife out of her sleeve and twirling it effortlessly between her fingers.

"We don't know." He answered truthfully, his voice cracked and weary.

"Alright, then." She nodded very slowly, the knife still spinning and flashing in her hand. "When is he planning on returning to attack the capitol and my father again?"

"We don't know."

Azula looked vaguely annoyed, which Mai knew meant that she was simmering under the surface, ready to explode. "Well, do you think he's betrayed all of you? He may never come back you know…" She leaned in close to his ear and Mai couldn't hear what she whispered, but she had an idea of what it was based on the flash in the warrior's eyes.

"He will come again."

Azula laid the knife to his throat. "You do realize that you are nothing more than a meaningless ant to me, don't you? I have absolutely no problems with killing you here and now. It would mean nothing to me." She flashed the knife and, though he did not react, there was a long slice that came within an inch of the major artery in his neck. She looked pleased at her handiwork and sat down again, leaning over the table to him with a satisfied sneer. "Now, do you really think that the Avatar would even dream of coming back for you all? He is a cowardly child, and you are utterly meaningless in the grand scheme of things."

Mai was eerily aware of what Azula was trying to accomplish, and had to admit that she was playing her cards well, and was likely going to break this warrior before he knew what hit him. She rose quietly and excused herself from the room, pacing the hallway outside with an unhappy frown. Azula emerged a moment later, and motioned for the guards to take the prisoner back to the cell.

"That went well, I think." She commented, and leaned against the wall with a smirk. "I'm looking forward to breaking each and every one of them."

Mai swallowed and exhaled, keeping herself from hesitating. "I'm sure it will be interesting, at least."

Azula stood straight when the guards reappeared with another prisoner. Mai's heart stopped when she realized that it was Hakoda, and she pulled open the door to another questioning room. "Whenever they're ready, have them bring a prisoner for me to question." She told Azula, disappearing quickly inside. She immediately sank into the chair, her heart having disappeared somewhere in her shoes. A million different things were vying for her attention. How could she have let herself become torn in two directions instead of making a clean choice? No matter what, it would not bode well for her to be revealed to Azula and the rest of the Fire Nation, and she sincerely doubted she would be well-received by the Avatar and his companions. This turned to wondering how Zuko was faring at that, and she had a feeling it was not going to be easy for him. She was concerned for Hakoda, in Azula's hands. She was concerned with Zuko, in the hands of Fate. She was concerned for herself, in her own hands.

She took a long, shaky breath, trying to calm herself and prepare for questioning the next man who would be brought in. He would certainly remember her from the night before, given the fact that she had taken off her hood and revealed her identity. _Stupid, stupid, stupid_. She cursed herself, knowing that they would be questioning her now. Questioning her, when she needed to understand them, and learn from them what she did not know. What Zuko knew. What everyone seemed to know, but Mai. She pulled a sheet of paper and the brush and ink that was waiting for her use during questioning toward herself, and began writing a brief note. No one would be watching her now, but she had no doubt that Azula was still suspicious of her, and would be observing, looking for any sign of traitorous behavior.

She wrote quickly, then folded the note and slipped it into her sleeve. She crossed her legs and balanced her head on her hand, looking bored. When the guard entered with one of the warriors, he let out an indignant and furious gasp, having found her out. She shot him a look that anyone else would have interpreted as loathing, but he understood the look to mean that she needed him to be silent. He was shoved, looking sullen, into the seat facing her. She slid a knife out of her wrist spring and played with its tip.

"Well, then," She began nonchalantly. "Tell me why you chose to attempt such a foolish endeavor as invading the glorious Fire Nation." It was open ended and full of the propaganda that she knew would make Azula smile. She was careful to go through the motions through the whole interview, standing at one point and tracing the knife delicately across the man's cheek, and using her swift reflexes to drop her note down the front of his shirt when she delicately dragged its razor sharp blade across his throat. When she felt she had done enough, she marched from the room and met Azula in the hallway, who looked overwhelmingly pleased.

The warrior was led away and she had faith that he would deliver the message. He had not reacted when she dropped the paper down his clothes, immediately knowing what it meant. He was admirable, and Mai breathed a little. She was beginning to think that her heart was making her decision for her, and was simply letting her brain find the answers why as courtesy to her sanity. Azula was chatting away about something Mai thought was rather inconsequential, and hardly noticed when Azula left to continue her questioning (and torturing, Mai knew) of Hakoda. The thought made her slightly nauseated, and she left the hallway, passing briefly by the cell where the prisoners were being held. She exchanged a glance with the first warrior she had met, noting that the group was huddled without subtlety around the warrior whom she had sent the note with. He was clutching the piece of paper, and she took a step toward the cell.

"What are you all huddled around like that?" She barked, but they immediately understood her warning: look too conspicuous and we're all dead. They dispersed, and were conversing in small groups, passing the paper around with as much secrecy as they could manage.

She breezed past, her robe flowing behind her arrogantly, but a chill was settling in her heart that frightened her a little. She knew that she was conspiring against the Fire Nation, and that was treason… A crime worthy of death, which would place her next to Zuko on the hangman's noose. She shivered, despite the summer's heat, and burst out into the daylight, bright and sunny as she did not feel.

**End Chapter Two**

**Note: So, I realized very recently that there is another Avatar story by this same title, and it is complete accident that this is titled the same. To that author, I'm so sorry, but the premise and idea is different, and I don't think I'm really infringing. Thanks to everyone who's already read and reviewed, you all are so, so amazing.**


	3. Dim Hopes

**Those Left Behind **

**Chapter Three: ****Dim Hopes**

Unseasonal, cold wind blew through Mai's window, and she sat up in her bed with a start. She didn't want to risk a return to the prison again, but knew she would have to follow up her note with a visit to the prisoners. She was particularly anxious to check on the men Azula had been questioning, knowing that their morale would have been shaken badly by the experience with the Fire Princess. Indeed, Azula had said she intended to break each of them. Mai was determined that she would not succeed, but it would take twice the effort than Azula gave for her to succeed in deterring the effects of their torture sessions.

With that in mind, she rose and dressed simply, pulling a cloak over herself again. She would have to think of a good excuse to tell the guards, knowing well that they would report to Azula that she was seeing the prisoners at night. She had simply been lucky the night before. She slipped out of her house without any of the servants seeing her, and was standing before the prison long before she knew where her feet were taking her. She was presented with a choice. She could sneak in and risk being caught, or she could walk in proudly as Azula's associate, and risk having to explain to Azula what she had been doing there. There were so many ways it could go wrong, and Mai was thinking of every last one of them as she approached the prison.

Finally, she marched forward past the guards, who were fast asleep at their posts. Mai was disgusted at how easy it would have been for a talented warrior to escape without anyone knowing until it was too late. Still, she pressed on, noting how the guards who had remained awake stepped clear out of her way and allowed her to pass. She was mildly perplexed by this, but pushed the thought to the back of her mind until she finally reached the final door which would lead her to the cell where the invasion force was being held. The guards here nodded to her and moved out of her way.

"You can tell Azula that I've come to question the prisoners some more." She told them evenly, closing the door with a slam when one of them opened their mouth to ask her if she wanted an escort.

The whole room stirred the moment she stepped into the light.

"You really did come." She recognized Hakoda's voice, and the apparent weariness that lay within it. She felt a twist in her heart, knowing the reason for his exhaustion.

"I needed to be more honest with all of you." She kept her hood up and paced in front of the cell.

The first warrior she had spoken too looked angry and suspicious. "We aren't stupid. You were questioning us today. You're in league with the Fire Princess."

"Bato." Hakoda's hand fell on his companion's shoulder. "Let her explain."

"Azula is an old friend of mine." Mai explained quietly. "We went to school together, and I have been helping her with her various missions since she was set to find the Avatar and destroy her brother. I am not… proud of my actions, or of my intentions." She held her head straight and stood tall. "Prince Zuko, Azula's brother, betrayed his family during the invasion, and has fled to join the Avatar."

Her meaning fell into place with her words from the night previous, and the look Hakoda gave her was one of fatherly heartbreak. "He is the one who left you."

She looked away, hiding the emotions flaring up in her chest and her silent demands to know why Zuko had left her behind. Hadn't he known how much she cared about him?

"Yes. He is." She responded simply. "I need your trust. I need all of you to trust me, to have faith in me. I…" She stumbled over words she had not even entirely admitted to herself, let alone to Zuko. "I love Zuko, and he wouldn't have given everything away again if he didn't have a good reason. I can't leave like he did, but if all of you allow me to ally myself with you, then we can stand together when the time comes." She was very careful to keep her voice low, so there could be no eavesdropping. "But you must understand the predicament I am in. You all read my note. I will be living a double life. I am committing the deepest treason by even having this conversation." Her voice implored them, begged their forgiveness and trust.

Hakoda examined her closely, and then nodded. "I was right about you." He turned to the group. "Anyone who has any concerns about her should voice them now." No one moved.

Mai bowed her head in thanks. "I will be suggesting to Azula that we send my messenger hawk to Zuko in the near future. He can find him anywhere, and she will wish to use it to find him. She is not interested in following them, but smoking them out with whatever means she has, which will likely be sending battalions at their group, weakening them until they cannot do anything but return to the capitol and be crushed."

"Then why are you facilitating this?" An earth bender interjected angrily. "My son is with them, and you are endangering them!"

"Azula will wish to see the letter I write, but… Zuko and I have ways of communicating around prying eyes." She stared each of them in the eye, not backing down as they stared her down. "I will be sure to inform him of her plan and warn him to find a safe place to take refuge or stand and fight. I also want to deliver messages for those who have ties to their group."

There was a deafening silence.

Hakoda spoke up first. "Have him tell my children that I love them, and that I believe in them."

A great, hulking man stepped forward. "My friend… The Duke. I want him to know I'm alright."

She nodded, listening to each of them. There weren't many who had specific people they wished to contact. Most wanted to send their voices to the Avatar, to encourage him and demonstrate their continued support, but Mai listened to each of them patiently. She kept each of their words in her memory, and when she left, they all looked even the smallest bit relieved. Hope, she knew, was heartening, and delivering it to them was all she could do to counteract Azula's demoralizing tactics. She did not expect universal trust from every man in the prison, but Hakoda's commanding presence in the group obviously held power, and they respected his high opinion of her, if not her directly.

Her return to her rooms was smooth and unchecked, as it had been the night before. Mai was beginning to question her good fortune, and vowed to be steadfast, but cautious in the future. What good could she possibly be to anyone, least of all Azula's prisoners, if she had been caught and imprisoned with them? Treason held a heavy price.

The following morning, she woke early and announced herself at the palace before Azula would have had the opportunity to wake. Reversing their roles from the previous morning, Mai called on the princess while she was still in her dressing clothes. Azula, however, did not seem to mind, though Mai knew well that was hardly an indicator of the princess's mood.

"Good morning, Mai." She drawled lazily. "What brings you to my apartments so early?"

"I had an epiphany last night." Mai began slowly, as though she were as bored with the whole situation as Azula. "My messenger hawk has the unique ability to find Zuko."

Azula raised her eyebrows, indicating her friend should continue.

"Anywhere." Mai emphasized, examining her fingernails. "No one would expect you to go chasing down the Avatar or your brother, but certainly, would it not be useful to know exactly where they are and what they're doing?"

Recognizing a flash of interest in Azula's eyes, Mai pressed on.

"Furthermore, while Zuko would be foolish to assume my loyalty lies not with you, he does not always think… clearly, shall we say. Certainly a letter from a dear friend would not be unwelcome, and I suppose he would think it would be followed, and he is rather zealous, but he would never cause harm to my hawk, or give me reason to believe that were the case."

Azula nodded, her head propped up by her elbows. "Indeed, that is quite the epiphany, Mai. I suppose in _your_ zeal, however, you rushed to the prison last night to look for clues as to where they might have gone in my prisoner's minds?"

Mai fought to keep her face straight. So Azula already knew about her visit to the prison. "That had been my intention, yes. Are you questioning my loyalty to you?"

"No, of course not." Azula's voice suggested that she might be offended by Mai's accusation, but the elder girl knew better. "Unless, of course, there is reason for me to question it." Her amber eyes bore into Mai's.

Mai stood abruptly. "If you have need to question the loyalty of your friends, then I have nothing more to say. The offer of my hawk remains to aid you, Princess Azula." She bowed courteously and turned on her heel. Her indignation was perfect, she hoped. She held her breath and hoped it was enough to fool Azula.

Azula waved her hand. "Don't be ridiculous, Mai. Your offer is very kind, and I have no questions about your loyalty."

Mai breathed out silently, closing her eyes and praising the spirits for a stroke of luck in her favor. She turned to face the princess. "I will, of course, need to write the letter. You are welcome to join me in composing it at your convenience." She bowed again and excused herself to return to her house.

When she had returned, she sat at her desk and stared at a blank piece of parchment for a long time. She would have to write a letter Azula approved, but needed another way to communicate with Zuko to offset whatever Azula had her write. She had told the prisoners that she and Zuko had other ways of communicating, but they really had not set up a concrete way that would allow them free communication. She pulled the letter tube from her desk drawer and stared at it for a long moment, picking at the leather.

Suddenly stricken with a moment of brilliance, she searched for the seam of the leather surrounding the wooden tube and pried it off with one of her knives. Careful not to damage the leather, she laid it as flat as it would lie on her desk and lay the parchment overtop it. It fit well, a little short on the top and sides, which Mai appreciated. It would be easier to conceal that way. She dipped her brush in the ink and began to write.

_Zuko,_

_I will presume that you have read the letter within the tube before finding this one, so please do your best to avoid following the specifics of the other. Azula will have had a heavy hand in its composition, and while she is not personally seeking you, she will doubtlessly attempt to weaken you. I have offered my hawk for his unique ability to always find you. Please forgive that. I have wanted to write you__, but this is truly the only opportunity I have had__. I have so many questions__. Use the hawk to your advantage, whatever you can conceive of. Remember that he will always find you, or at least some part of you. The soldiers will follow him wherever he goes. If you send the hawk back, Azula will wish to read your reply. The Avatar's companions send their best, given their circumstances. Chief Hakoda has asked you to send his love to his children and remind them of his faith in them. A man asked for "The Duke" to be given news of his safety. An older man asked for news of his son, but told me that he would settle to let his son know he was alive and well. __I cannot relay all the messages with all the emotion and meaning behind them. Assure all in your group that someone here is thinking of them, and there have been no deaths at Azula's hands. __Most of them maintain strong faith in the Avatar and his duty. Was it faith in him that led you to this? I think of you always and pray to the spirits for your safe and triumphant return._

_-Mai_

She carefully laid the parchment on the tacky underside of the leather, and then wrapped it around the tube again, carefully smoothing out any bubbles on the surface and ensuring it looked perfect enough to pass Azula's standards. She returned it to her desk and pulled out a fresh sheet of parchment in time for her manservant to announce the arrival of said princess.

She rose upon Azula's entrance and bowed to the princess. "I did not expect you to be so prompt."

"This matter required my attention immediately, and I would hate to put off writing to my dear brother." She poised herself at the table in Mai's study, while Mai sunk into her desk chair, feeling rather unsettled.

"You should start it 'Dearest Zuko'." Azula told her airily, and Mai gripped the brush a little tighter than she should have. Azula was taunting her for her romantic attachment to Zuko.

Mai followed Azula's lead, adding her personal touches here and there, but overall was not surprised to find, as she had predicted, that the letter was drafted almost in its entirety by Azula. When it was completed, she stood and offered it to the princess, who scanned it quickly and smiled a little too kindly for Mai's nerves, who turned immediately and rolled it up. She pulled the tube out of her desk and slipped it in.

"Sending it now would be agreeable with you, would it not?" She couldn't shake the rush of adrenaline that was rushing through her as her heart beat faster.

Azula rose and nodded, stretching much like a cat. "There is a group of soldiers waiting outside to tail your hawk."

Mai led her to the keep in her garden, and removed her personal hawk, attaching the tube and looking to Azula for confirmation that she could climb to the top of her observation and send the hawk on his way.

As she climbed the stairs, she tried to breathe, whispering instructions and praise to the bird the whole way up. She closed her eyes and raised her arm, feeling first the grip of his talons, then the pressure of his takeoff. She pulled her arm close, her breathing short and shallow from nerves. Her hope was within her hawk, along with the hopes of all of the others who had been left behind, and she prayed with enough will for all of them that he would deliver them well.

On the ground below, Azula nodded to the captain leading the small group of scouts. "Follow him." As he started to turn, she looked thoughtful for a moment. "And, remember the hawk I prepared for you?"

The captain swallowed. "The predator hawk? Yes."

She did not look away from the disappearing speck of bird in the sky. "Once Lady Mai's hawk has located my brother and the Avatar, immediately set him upon hers." Her mouth was curved very slightly upward.

"Ensure that _that_ hawk does not survive to deliver the letter."

**End Chapter Three**

**Note: So, Azula is a sadistic bitch. We all knew this already, but I figured I'd highlight it here, because she's not cunning and shrewd in the show, simply to have those traits forgotten in my story. The next chapter will be a short interlude that will briefly take the focus away from Mai, and the prisoners. This chapter really begins the departure from the series, because I sincerely doubt it will be canon plot, so anything that happens after episode 313 (The Firebending Masters) may completely make this fanon, but that's okay. I hope you all enjoy it regardless. **


	4. Understanding Truth

**Those Left Behind**

**Chapter Four: Understanding Truth **

The hawk that returned with news about Zuko was not Mai's own, but a squat, aged one bearing the seal of the Fire Lord's service. She recognized her uncle's bird immediately and frowned deeply, opening the scroll with a dignified snap. The rap on her door that came as she scanned the contents with an ever-sinking heart could only be Azula coming to fetch her for a task she was not entirely prepared for. She balled up her uncle's letter and stood, bracing herself.

The door swung open and Azula strode in with a self-satisfied smirk. "I see your uncle has already contacted you with our… fortunate situation. Ty Lee is already preparing for the trip, and I trust that you will be fully prepared to make the journey with us?" Azula crossed her arms under her breasts and her expression told Mai that she didn't have much of a choice. "We will be escorting one of our prisoners to the Boiling Rock as well. Be prepared to depart in an hour." When Mai had nodded numbly, Azula turned on her heel and marched out of the door.

Mai, on the other hand, sunk into a nearby chair and shielded her eyes with her fingers. She had chosen to help the prisoners—had sided with the Avatar in this battle—but she still wasn't sure she could handle Zuko just yet. She had written to him and tried to think of every conceivable reason why he would leave and let her find out from a letter that could only be a cheap replacement for the loss she suffered when he left. It was a matter of time before her treachery was revealed. Mai trembled at the thought of failing at the one thing she had chosen to assert herself in. She inhaled very slowly, and then rose out of the chair. They were escorting a prisoner to the Boiling Rock?

Her heart sank, knowing precisely who would have been selected for transfer, and she stood abruptly. She didn't have much time, if it was Hakoda who had been selected for transfer, as he doubtlessly would have been. The Boiling Rock was reserved for the most significant threats to stability in the Fire Nation, and a leader of an invasion into the Fire Nation capitol would certainly be considered a significant threat when still surrounded by his comrades. She checked the knives tucked into her wrist springs and proceeded to tuck more into hidden folds of fabric. There wasn't much time.

She was quick to the prison, hoping she would have beaten Ty Lee and Azula, both of whom had an annoying habit of being early to everything. Nodding to the guards outside the large prison, she stepped out of the shadows before the large cell. Every prisoner froze and stared at her.

"One of you has been selected for transfer to the Boiling Rock." She announced loudly, ensuring that the guards outside could hear her. "Chief Hakoda, you will step forward."

Several prisoners stepped aside to reveal Hakoda from their midst. "I figured this day would come." He didn't dare to give Mai a smile, but stood calmly as the guards stepped forward to fit him into his restraints.

She walked around him carefully, as though inspecting the restraints, before leaning over to his ear. "You should have no hope where you're going." The whisper was loud enough for the guards to hear, and they exchanged a quick smile and moved back to their stations.

"I will never lose hope in the Avatar." Hakoda told her defiantly.

"Prince Zuko is at the Boiling Rock. Please… Don't reveal me. I need to go as far as I can with this."

Hakoda's defiant smile grew broader. "I will never betray those I have placed my trust in."

Breathing an internal sigh of relief, Mai marched from the room just as Azula rounded the corner, Ty Lee in tow. "I presume you intended their leader to be transferred?" She gestured behind her, where the guards were scrambling to bring Hakoda forward.

Azula's mouth twisted in what could have been a smile, were the disdainful elitism not apparent. "Oh, Mai, you ruin all the fun in it."

Mai's monotonous frown didn't move from her face. "It's a prisoner, Azula, not a toy. Let's just get him to Uncle's prison." She glided past the princess with a blank look.

"Mai?" Azula's tone had the same simper it always did before she was about to move in for the kill. "Are you sure you'll be able to go with us?"

She didn't turn. "What are you talking about, Azula?"

"Will you be able to handle seeing Zuko again, after he left you like that? We never did get a response with your bird, you know…" She trailed off, and Mai could _feel_ the smirk crossing her face.

"Leave Zuko to me. I assure you, I haven't forgotten that my duties outweigh my feelings… Or whatever is left of them after your brother had the courtesy of ripping them up." She strode out of the prison to Azula's waiting war balloon.

The trip was short—shorter than Mai might have hoped, given the swirl of butterflies and movement in her stomach. She stared out across the landscape with nothing more than an emotionless glaze over her eyes, wondering how she could possibly even _look_ at Zuko without some sort of emotion.

When he was deposited before her, the only reasonable one she could manage was indignant anger, and when he left her locked in the cell with nothing more than a hurried apology, Mai wondered why she was even _bothering _ with her treason when Zuko had chosen his over her. She had only so long to stew in her indignation before she remembered that the only reason she had chosen to betray her homeland was because he had obviously seen something worthwhile in this path… So she had chosen it. The matter was living with it, no matter what. If Zuko saw fit to throw away his crown for this new world, she could see fit to keep searching for the reason why it was all so worth it and live with the consequences that came with it.

Locks were never a problem for Mai, but Azula's idea of a place where she and Ty Lee would never be seen by the furious princess again was not the Boiling Rock, but back in the Fire Nation capitol, where they could await judgment. Their past involvement with Azula nearly guaranteed exile, but in the meantime, they were isolated in prison cells adjacent to the ones Mai had spent her time connecting with other prisoners. The walls were thin, and Ty Lee didn't speak to Mai for days in horror of her actions, but Mai could hear the other prisoners whispering in the dark at night, planning for the second invasion, patiently waiting without a shred of doubt that they may ever be betrayed by their Avatar.

She stared at her tattered prison clothes and the dirty ceiling and wondered how long she had to wait with them. Her dreams were littered with split images: those of perishing at Azula's hands in the prison as Zuko and his new comrades failed in their treason and those of success in what she had once imagined impossible, and the release of her darker despair.

Ty Lee tapped lightly on the wooden wall she was sitting against. "Mai?"

"Yes, Ty Lee?"

"Are we going to make it out of here alive?"

"I suppose if Zuko and the others ever come back."

"You mean, if they win."

Mai was quiet for a long time, staring at the ceiling and struggling with fledgling hope which threatened to be quashed by her situation at any moment. "They will." She murmured, barely loud enough to be heard. "And they'll come for us."

"How do you know?" Ty Lee was kneeling by the wall, voice trembling as Mai knew the girl was.

"You just… have to have a little faith in them." She managed, swallowing a growing lump. "That they won't forget the ones they left behind."

There was a soft _thump_ as Ty Lee turned to sit on the dirt floor, leaning against the opposite side of the wall, staring at the ceiling, much as Mai was. "Then they'll come back?"

"And they'll win."

**Epilogue**

The explosions outside the prison tower rocked even the dark foundation where most of the prisoners were held. Mai could feel the excitement build in the cell beside her, as the war prisoners cried prayers and thanksgiving for the return of the Avatar. She stood, waiting patiently in the otherwise empty cell as the explosions came closer to the prison on the surface, finally bursting through the ground-level entrance, up stairs, down corridors, and finally down the staircase that led to the cells where she and the others waited patiently.

As the ground above them rumbled, destruction and freedom moving ever closer to them, Mai smiled faintly.

**End**

**Note: So, this is the end. I may come back and add an alternate ending, because I don't know exactly how I feel about it. The Boiling Rock threw off a lot of what I had planned, but provided a much neater execution for essentially the same thing as I wanted. The epilogue and the last half of the actual chapter are what I wanted for the end of the story (only considerably more condensed—for better or worse), and the epilogue came out precisely as I wanted… I had just been planning on another few chapters to fill in the space between the message to Zuko and Mai's betrayal. I know it seems like a big jump, but after seeing the episodes this is really all I could manage (the next chapter was going to segue into this anyway). To everyone who has been reading this story: thank you so much for supporting this, even as life in the real world exploded for me! I hope you all will continue to support me in my future writing endeavors (which promise to have less sudden endings).**


End file.
